Well, is he the devil or isn't he?

Earlier this week, when Venezuelan president/dictator/fat boy Hugo Chavez called George W. Bush the devil at a U.N. summit, the South American strong man nearly set off an international incident. Lost in the hubbub, however, an unanswered question remains.
Is President George W. Bush in fact Satan?
As you might expect, this called for a Pig Jamboree investigation!
After culling over thousands of records, we put the president’s proclivities towards evil on our patented Satanometer. (The first E is soft, pronounce it like thermometer.) Here’s how our man stacked up:

Seemingly intent on ruining the United States, a country well-known for its love of Jesus Christ. (+3)

Loves to Mountain Bike (-1)

Totally into the idea of global warming (+2)

Married to a librarian (-2)

Married to a potentially evil librarian! (+1)

Skull and Bones at Yale (+2)

Everyone knows its Princeton that’s in league with Satan (-2)

Frequently seen accompanied by small black hellhound Barney (+1)

Best pals with Dick Cheney, a man known for his good works (-3)

Also close with vice president Dick Cheney (as opposed to the aforementioned Dick Cheney, who spends most of his time volunteering at a D.C.-area soup kitchen and picking litter off the highway. Lots of people get them confused, but they couldn’t be more different.) (+4)

So, it looks like the president scores a 5, which means, alas, that he is not Satan. A 5 is nothing to scoff at, however; and indeed, homeboy is still quite a malicious force. On the Satanometer, George falls just ahead of your typical Norwegian metal band, and just below Nancy Grace.

Something tells me our boy isn’t quite done yet, though, and with two more years to go, if I were Nancy I’d be watching my back!

In the meantime, get your facts straight, Hugo!

George Allen dumbness confirmed, limits of dumbness seemingly bottomless

So, I was feeling kind of bad about calling Senator George Allen an idiot. In hindsight, I started thinking that maybe it was a little too disrespectful, maybe a little too coarse, to talk about a sitting U.S. senator like that, no matter the regard I held him in.
Then I saw this totally awesome video of repeatedly calling an Indian kid "Macaca."
Now, let there be no doubt. Dude is a freaking idiot.
How else to explain the senator looking a camera in the eye and repeatedly calling this (Fairfax born) 20 year old UVa student named Sidarth "Macaca" and welcoming him to America, all to the delight of the rednecks he'd assembled in deep, deep Southwest Virginia.
The video is widely available on the internets, you should look it up.
While this incident highlights G. Felix Allen's well-documented disdain for anyone even slightly ethnic, it offends me on a much more personal level.
As my Indian friends can attest, I've been calling them "Macaca" for years, always to hilarious effect. George Allen stole my bit.

Jim Webb is Pete Gillen is better than George Allen

Here in Virginia, we have a tough decision to make come November. In the race for the U.S. Senate, the voters of the commonwealth are charged with choosing between George Allen, a real dipshit-do nothing-confederate flag lovin'-insufferable faux-cowboy idiot jerk, and Jim Webb, a moderate Democrat who happens to be an esteemed author and Vietnam War hero. Yessir, a real tossup.
After much back and forth between the cats and I, we're throwing our support behind Mr. Webb. Not only is he the superior candidate, but damned if he isn't the spitting image of Pete Gillen, the late great men's basketball coach at my Alma Mater.

Amira Cabernet Cabernet Franc 2004

This is a sweet little South African cab franc, retails for about $11. As my boy Tom at Market Street Wine Shop has pointed out, it should make Virginia vintners ashamed of themselves.
For real, there's no cab franc in Virginia approaching this depth of flavor, and those that come close want $20 to $30 a bottle.
South Africa! Winner!

Bang = Not Cool

Ms. Jamboree and I ventured into C-ville last night to stroll the downtown mall and have a drink somewheres. Having never spent more than 10 minutes in Bang!, the asianish-tapas-martini-bar just off the mall, I suggested we go there to whet the ol' whistles.
What was striking, upon arriving, is how no longer hot this once hot spot is. I recall trying to eat here on numerous occasions in the past, only to find the crowds too daunting. But on last saturday night, the place was maybe half-full at 8:00 p.m. on a saturday, and the patrons were almost eclusively family-types. Not a hipster in sight.
Indeed, Bang! seems to have lost whatever cultural cache it once had, and I suspect the Charlottesville scenesters have decided that Bang! is out, and are now sipping their $9 cocktails at The X-lounge, or maybe still Zocalo. That's probably for the best. The girly $9 martinis at Bang! do kind of suck.

On The Crappiness of Scottsville, VA

Oh, how I want to like Scottsville, Virginia.
Many enjoyable evenings have I spent in the small town 20 minutes south of Charlottesville; having dinner, fishing in the mighty James River, or strolling down its quaint main street. There's no denying the ugly fact though; as much as I hate to say it, I must.
Scottsville totally sucks.
Indeed, it's not so much that Scottsville sucks as a stand-alone small Virginia town, because as one of those it could certainly do much worse (I'm looking at you Stanardsville...). The tragedy of Scottsville is what is once was, compared to what it is now.
There was a time, not too long ago, when Scottsville was in the midst of what people generally referred to as "the renaissance". The little sidewalks were bustling with tourists and locals and at least three interesting restaurants competed for your dollar. An energetic Yankee mayor was eager to make all that he could out of the town.
Indeed, I'll never forget the cover story in the C-ville Weekly (the crappier of our two crappy weeklies in this area) all about how Charlottesvillians were increasingly forsaking Cville for the quietude and amenities available in delightful ol' Scottsville.
How ridiculous such sentiments look now.
While Charlottesville has continued to blossom, Scottsville has withered; "Magnolia", the last good restaurant, closed in early 2006. Today's diner can choose between the Luv n' Oven (actual motto: "When a Better Chicken is Hatched, We'll Cook it!"), the Dew Drop Inn or a mediocre barbecue joint. None are very good.
This Saturday, Ms. Jamboree and I motored to Scottsville to pick up some dish soap at the IGA (it's like a food lion, but not as classy). An impromptu junk sale was in full force in the Village Shopping Center parking lot.
Sketchy carnival-barker type characters hawked everything from Nascar-themed lamps to marijuana-smoking devices to bootleg videos.
We left before we could get the dish soap, as the scene was too weird. I can't see going back anytime soon, even though we live five minutes from town limits.
Man, Scottsille totally sucks.

Gordon's Gin

Not my favorite gin, but my favorite affordable gin. If money were no object, I'd go for the Citadel every time, but this fellow, very decent at about $18 for 1.75 liters, makes a nearly ideal gin and tonic. And who's using gin for anything else, anyway?

Carril de Cotos Tinto 2002

It's incredible the kind of quality that can be found in spain for $8. Take this chunky, dark purple tempranillo for instance. It's just great, and head and shoulders above what one could find almost anywhere else at a similar price point.

Andeluna Cab Sav 2003

This Andeluna's entry level cab bottling. At $10, it's also top notch. I could drink great big cabs like this all the time. It's almost case-worthy.

Las Rocas 2001 Old Vines Garnacha

I'd been hanging on to this boy for the past couple of years--you might remember it caused a sensation a few years back because of some outrageously glowing press coverage.
Anyway, I paid about $13 back in the day, and finally cracked it the other night. What can I say? Nice, but not mindblowing. In fact, I seem to recall it being better back in 2003. I bought a bottle of the 2003 vintage at $15 the other day, so we'll see if that tastes any better.